Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Seems to be the theme today, or at least one of the main themes of my life that transpired today. I felt it hit after taking a test that I knew I could score higher on if I just put more aggression into answering the questions quicker and with more confidence that I know the right answers. Got it after while talking to my job counselor who said today was the most she had heard me speak in meetings with her. Even more so got it after going to a mock interview and receiving critique back that one of the things I needed to work on was confidence and being more aggressive in selling myself in an interview. And then walks in my Dad just a moment ago to check on me, who gives me his usual mixed message regarding having more confidence because irl, I really don't have many strikes against me. But, then, he does his usual rub about how people with worse records are able to get jobs, left and right apparently, and I'm still treading water in the job market. Yeah, that's a big confidence boost right there. <.<

So yeah, I need to work on confidence. How? I figured I've been on the right track lately, now, with trying to work through the employment service. I've not always asked for help, least not right away, and maybe not with the confidence necessary. But I'm trying to ask more and seek help more. Not that I have any choice, since relying on myself alone is getting me nowhere. You can be a nice guy, but you know, nice guys don't finish first too often. It's a harder road to take. Because, it seems, the more you can push people around, or otherwise force yourself into something, the more likely you will be to actually be continuing to do it. And people seem to prefer pushing more than guiding. It's strange thing, but, it plays out everywhere, even on SL.

SL pushy? Some of you may ask. Hell yes it is. It can be very demanding on people, to even a ridiculous level, considering that, if you don't pull yourself away from SL, there's no way one can keep their virtual life without their real life diminishing. And when it feels like the demands of this virtual life are becoming more than that of an already demanding real life, that's when the stress takes its toll on the citizens of the metaverse. Because, despite being able to teleport into numerous places in seconds, and with the use of alts be able to literally be two (or more) places at once, despite all these god-like feeling abilities of SL, we're still human afterall, and multitasking virtual lives on top of real life can and does become challenging at times, even so daunting that there's no way to keep up with the demands.

What to do then? Well, the easy way out is to just pull the plug on SL. But that's not the best way. However, sometimes it becomes necessary, especially when people in the virtual world are so caught up on trying to take your time and steal it for themselves. Why? Because some people are just that greedy. They either forget or just don't care that there's someone in another part of the world that is interacting with them and has a real life that they have to participate in to, especially in order to maintain a virtual world in the first place. And then, there's also the feeling that, if you don't keep active and are unable to attend to the demands of everyone, or, in particular, the ones you care about, then soon, those people are just going to decide to abandon you because you're busy and they aren't going to wait for you to return or have time to do things with them. People in SL rarely have much patience, which is sad, really. And it's also the reason that this virtual world becomes demanding, because impatient and greedy people that want to take up your time are going to do just that, if you let them.

And why do we let people online do that? Usually because there is an invested interest or desire, generally mutual between those that demand something and those that are being demanded of something. And, in some ways, it's not really a bad thing. The thing that makes it so generally has to do with priorities. And when priorities get screwed up, that's when demands become a bad thing. If there's anything that is hard for me to tolerate in SL, it is when priorities are not set and put in sync between the demand or desire of something and where they lay among the people involved. When I feel I have wasted time waiting on someone to which has risen in priority for me for various reasons, but generally because I've grown to care for them, and that desire seems not to be in sync, then yes, I do get frustrated. When I come on, and start to speak with someone in that priority, and see have them pass up time to do something with me, of course I feel rejected. Why? Because of the invested interest and priority. If I didn't have that, I probably would be more apt to say, "Oh well, on to do something else." But, when there is a sense of priority and invested interest involved, and the person goes and does something else, it turns into, "Ok... I just logged in for nothing, thanks! >.<"

So, there's two options that come to mind then:

1. Give up on the invested interest.
2. Work things out.

For the first, let's face it, not every invested interest in SL is going to be worth keeping. Especially when the interest isn't equal or mutual between those that have the investment. Once invested interest drops due to unequal priorities, it's about then that those interests go out the door. Why? Because, quite frankly, it's a waste of time if only one person in the invested interest is trying to prioritize and make things work. So, if things can't be worked out, then it's better to pull out while the chips are high, rather than push and wind up forced out at the lowest point. Getting out while you're still ahead (or still have a head) can seem the best thing to do.

On the other hand, if those that have the invested interest together, and want to keep it together, then it would be better to work things out. Because if there is desire to keep things going, then there may be hope that those in the invested interest can figure out a way to work together.

Anyways, how that figures in with confidence? *shrugs* I suppose with confidence, clarity and resolve to do what's best becomes more clear and easy to do than without it.

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