RP in Tempura: The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Well, maybe the good and the bad portions, but the bad was pretty ugly. >.<

You see, last night, I went to RP with a couple friends that are in Tempura, We hadn't officially met ICly there, and so we OOC agreed to work out an introductory RP for our characters. Another friend of mine that is dear to me, and to which we had already had an intro RP, but were looking to further to their story together, came in later.

So, the first part went perfectly well, and I show it here as a wonderful example of good RP here:

[2010/07/31 20:09]

Luke Heartsdale hops down from a rooftop to get a better look at what he had scented. And sure enough, it was a lycan.

Fenris (Shalaris) watches as a neko drops from the rooftop, raising a brow at him. He takes a wiff of his scent as well.

Luke continues to watch from across the street. The brow raised and he was certain the wolf was scenting him down. He walks slow out onto the street, keeping close to his side, not wanting to encroach on territory. "Hello." He says with a smile, trying to look casual.

Fenris keeps his red eyes on the Neko as he comes a bit closer, nodding his head respectfully when spoken to "Greetings...why don;t you come closer? So I don't have to shout" he beckons.

Luke sees what he thinks if a glowing red glare from the wolf, which makes him cautious. "Greetings." He looks both sides of the street and keeps distance for now, "Oh, I mean non disrespect er nothin' but I'm feelin' good right here."

Dakota Bookmite walks up and spots Luke. She isn't sure whether she should wave or not, given what happened last time she was with him. She sees someone else and gives a slight wave.

Fenris blinks and tilts his head at him curiously "...Really, it's fine. this is the Tribe base, home of Nekos...new people come in and out of here, you're nothing special..." his eyes turn to the woman and nods his head to her, then back to the male neko "..please, come in..it's really not safe out here right now...there's a nast creature around and she could pop up at any moment"

Dakota Bookmite turns around nervously wondering who the other male was talking about. She turns to the stranger and asks, "Will it be alright if I come in too? I mean, I don't want to be left out here either. I have seen some of the folks around here..."

Fenris (Shalaris) nods to her "You as well..."

Luke Heartsdale listens to the wolf, but still looks cautious. "A base for cats, guarded by a wolf?" He ponders that for a moment, then snorts at the 'nothing special' comment, but decides best not to comment. "Some creature about?" He looks curious at the wolf and murrs, "How do I know yer tellin th' truth an' not tryin' ta lure me into yer den o'wolves to make a meal outta me?" He looks back, seeing Dakota from the other night. He shrugs to her comment to the wolf, but a part of him had a strange feeling and he tells her, "If ya wanna take yer chances trusting a wolf missy, go right ahead..."

Dakota smiles at the wolf but the smile quickly fades when she hears Luke's remark. She backs away a bit.

Fenris raises a brow and sighs "I am no guard for them..I am a member of their tribe....my mate is a neko as well...you probably may have scented that on me..." he shrugs "But, it is your choice" he says with dissmay. I am going inside to be with my love..just ring that doorbell if you change your mind..." with that, he opens the door and walks inside.

Dakota watches the wolf go inside the building and quickly looks over at Luke. She wasn't sure if was safe to stay out here with him or to go into that building.

Luke murrs as he does smell the scent of neko. Whether he was telling the truth, or if it was just a scent from the wolf's last meal, he couldn't know. He looks between the wolf looking to step inside, then to Dakota on the street a few paces away. "Alright, see ya, sir..." he says to the wolf, pausing, as if to see if he obliges a name.

Fenris: "....Blackheart...." he finishes his sentence and closes the door behind him.

Dakota wonders if she is doing the right thing. She couldn't tell whether the wolf had the neko's scent or not. After all, she had never been around other nekos...she lived a rather sheltered life. She looks to Luke," Now what?"

Fenris opens his eyes widely as he sees his mate train. His eyes locked onto every curve and every muscle that peaked through as she moved. When she finished and turned to him, his jaw nearly dropped to the floor, feeling like the luckiest wolf in the world "H-H-Hey lover..." he stammers as he tries to regain himself.

Luke turns towards Dakota and shrugs. "How should I know? I ain't been her' fer more than a few days?" He could feel his steps being taken towards her.

Dakota eyes him cautiously and holds out her hand to show her claws. "Well...what about that creature the wolf was talking about?"

Alereana Snowfall mews happily and jumpst into his arms. Keeping from hitting him with the silver heels she wore. "Missed you mate.... I scent others outside.... make new friends?"

Luke shrugs again. He saw her claws unsheath, yet he at least looked to be unconcerned about it. He smiles coy, "What, you gonna believe a wolf about a monster eh?"

Fenris smiles and wraps his arms around her waist, giving her lips a loving kiss "Nekos outside...one of them is a hardass about wolves...but, I guess I can understand.." he nuzzles her neck affectionately "Training?"

Dakota stares at him as her light brown eyes begin to glow. He had a point. "Well, maybe....but I have been here a few days, and half of the people I have seen here seem like monsters."

Alereana nods and smiles. "Of course.... well I will see if I can convince them then." Kisses the side of his snout before going to step just outside of the door.

Fenris nods and opens the door for her.

Luke just casually walks closer to Dakota. "Well, I suppose..."

Dakota takes a step aside from him, just in case he had any tricks up his sleeve. She hears the door of the building open and looks over.

Alereana mews and waves over towards the other two. "Hey... don't mind the big guy....!" Chuckles and tilts her head to the side, waving a moment and seeming rather honest to goodness kindhearted.

Dakota begins to smile when she hears the female neko. She comes a little closer. "Good to meet you."

Fenris sighs and leans against the door, yelping as it shocks him and rubs his back with a grumble

Luke looks at the one that came from the door. His curiosity is peaked when he sees indeed a neko. "Are you, the..., ah, mate, of the wolf there, who calls himself Blackheart?"

Alereana nods and smiles. "He is nice... I love him to death honestly. Even if the species are different..."

Dakota Bookmite doesn't say anything. She figures that the female is nice so maybe the wolf was just as nice too.

Fenris smiles and looks down bashfully at Ale's words.

Luke hrmms at that. Looking at the two, then to Dakota. Though generally distrusting, seeing her there made it hard to disbelieve. "So, the creature is true as well then?"

Alereana nods again and motions towards the base. "Yes.... and there is an evil being about that makes me feel safer inside then vunerable outside..."

Dakota looks over at Luke. "See? I knew it! I don't want to be out here with some psycho running lose."

Alereana nods. "Please... come inside both of you...I'd feel better."

Luke nods. He looks at the wolf again, then to the cat, then to Dakota. "Alright..., then I only have one last question of you, kitten. What's your name?"

Alereana chuckles. "Alereana... but everyone calls me Ale..."

Dakota grins at Ale and says, "My name is Dakota."

Luke smiles a bit then nods, "It's Lukas ma'am, so, I'd imagine I know well enough now to step foot in your Den, now, ifn ya still would oblige an ol' cowboy cat to come in."

Alereana smirks and nods. "By all means... come within the base... I think I can find an extra can of tuna..."

***

And so, that was the basics of the RP that led to the general getting to know each other ICly portion. I let Shal know in IMs that Luke in this character is not very trustworthy of lycans. But that hardly needed to be noted, just from the flow of the RP itself. It was more of a courtesy heads up to let him know. There was more RP inside, but, regardless of what went on in the HQ, there was nothing said by them of Luke or Dakota having to leave, so we took it as meaning that we were guests and under the hospitality of the Tribe.

However, someone else thought otherwise. And so here becomes the example of bad RP:

[2010/07/31 22:42]

Dakota Bookmite leans over and continues to grin. With her eyes sparkling. She says, "I think it is because my foot is so close to yours....I think it is got you hot under the collar."

Luke Heartsdale blinks, "What? Nuh uh! That's silly." Even so, he doesn't move his foot, as if to prove her wrong. He smirks, "An' besides, I haven't worn a co...." He murrs and clears his throat, "I mean, as you can see I ain't got no collar aroun' my neck."

Dakota stares at him. She wasn't sure what he was trying to say at first. She shrugs it off and giggles. "It is just an expression."

Luke snorts again, "Uh huh, ok..." Even if he wanted to take offense, or hold anything about it, her giggling made it hard to feel that way. He almost cracks a smile. Instead, he yawns and looks about. "Supposin' ought ta find a place ta rest fer th' night, hmm?"

Dakota quickly looks at him and nods."I have been sleeping in the alleyways.....but I can't really sleep. I am afraid someone might try to rob me or something."

Luke looks at her curious, but then shrugs, "Well, looks like there's much more cozy places here. An they said it wasn't safe to go outside anyways..."

Dakota nods and looks around. She remembers having her own room with a big canopy bed. She sighs and stretches.

Luke stands up and looks around. "There might be beds upstairs, but reckon they's fer others that live here, so.. maybe a couch?"

"Sure", she says as she stands up to follow him.

Luke Heartsdale: (think will get out the wallet lol))

Dakota wrinkles her nose a bit as she looks at the couches. (((the

wallet?? lol))

Luke Heartsdale: ((the thingie that allows me to use poses, like we did at the camp in EW ;) ))

Dakota Bookmite: (((ohhh lolol))

Dakota Bookmite: ((lol i thought that was a sitting pose right here lol))

Luke Heartsdale: ((woot, shake it, shake it xD))

Dakota Bookmite: (((lolol!!))

Sex Wallet 2.0 - Ultimate: embrace

Luke Heartsdale: ((right beside me ;) ))

Dakota Bookmite: (((hahahha this Dakota the neko is too wary to snuggle with you. She doesn't know you that well lol))

Luke Heartsdale: (( awws, alright))

Dakota Bookmite: ((giggles))

Poses from the wallet put away. Some time around this point, Nadir appears, likely just logging on.

Punk Sofa TYPE - M - Bottom-right: Use PageUp or Down key to change pose.

Luke looks around at the couches and hrms, "Well, guess this is second hand stuff..."

Nadir Anatine snorts at the BULLSHIT she overhears when she arrives. "Well there doesn't happen to be an IKEA around here. If you don't like it, get the fuck off of it."

Dakota finds a seating area that isn't too dirty and lays down. She pouts a bit, wishing she was back home. "I guess so..." She quickly looks up to see someone.

Nadir looks back and forth between them coldly. "Oh, i see. A couple of homeless fucking bums trespassing in the clubhouse for the sole purpose of critiquing the furniture, Get the fuck out." she points at the door.

Luke then flops to rest of the cushion of the couch next to Dakota. He blinks, seeing the girl that just appeared, "Hello?"

Dakota hisses at the woman and says, "We were INVITED here...and I don't take orders from YOU!" She gives the woman a snobby look.

Luke blinks, "We was told to come here for safety by the wolf Blackheart and his mate."

Nadir is unimpressed. she reaches for the bottom of the sofa... and flips it the fuck over, like it's paper.

Nadir Anatine: "blackheart takes orders from ME. Fuck off."

Dakota mews and quickly moves away from the odd woman.

Luke hops up and looks at her scowling. "Fuking Matrons in ALL cities." He snorts, "I shoulda known not to trust them to say this was a safe haven for nekos!"

Nadir rolls her eyes. "Not when they're ungreatful, judgemental little bastards like you who are trespassing when nobody else is home."

Dakota Bookmite: "We were NOT trespassing. Are you deaf or dumb? We were invited."

Nadir Anatine ignores the NONCOMBATIVE smartass. "Last chance before i drag you out by the balls."

Luke snorts, "There were people home, and they said we was -Welcome-. Now I know that's not the case, and you are no better than the assholes in all places I've been!"

Dakota looks over at Luke and says, "Let's go. We don't have time to worry about this fool."

[2010/07/31 23:13] Nadir Anatine: (( you either need to turn your meter on or cease the namecalling. Per the ruleset of the chain. ))

[2010/07/31 23:13] Dakota Bookmite: ((that is not starting a fight. My character is going tit for tat with yours.))

Additional Note: This Nadira person seems to have a poor understanding about rules of engagement, or just doesn't care. For one, she came in off the bat cursing and insulting Luke and Dakota, and then, in her words, 'reaches for the bottom of the sofa... and flips it the fuck over, like it's paper.' In this case, she fully instigated and antagonized our characters and only now brings up the rules in a very poor class behavior. Dakota was also right in noting that it was not her starting a fight, but reacting as her character would to such an extreme and violent chain of events. I don't care what the specific rules are in the sim, but by more general aspects in ettiqutte of RP, This was just a horribly thought out RP by Nadir, to which her emotes give wonder about if she really understands what emotes are for, or if she's trying to antagonize through the emotes as well, which is also poor taste.

Luke nods, "Don't need any more crazy factions with assholes. We're gone!"

Luke Heartsdale: (will have to tp out, unless you open the doors for us))

Dakota Bookmite: ((lolol))

Nadir snorts. "Don't let our unfortunately secondhand door smack you on the ass on the way out."

Dakota quickly follows Luke.

Luke snorts back, "Don't worry, we won't. Cause we don't need none of your bullshit!"

Nadir muses. "Which is better than the no doors you have."

Dakota was a little shaken but tries not to show it. "What nerve!"

Luke looks to Dakota, and smirks, "Personally, I'd rather have no doors to worry about. Waay too confining in there."

Dakota nods and smiles at him. Although she was still worried about the creature Blackheart and Ale told them about.

***

And so, yep, in one night, we were both welcomed and kicked out of a faction. In the aftermath, though, Nadira did us a favor. After she so rudely interrupted our RP with her brain dead emotes, and mindless tyrannical tirades, and we left her precious little Den, Dakota and I went off to this jungle sim that we found a while back, and had a perfectly wonderful rest of the evening together in a place we didn't have to worry about harassment of some woman (in avatar character anyways, though in reality, could be questionable, being an RP sim and all) that's on a power trip.

And here's an excerpt from our more relaxed setting of the little bit that we reflected on what we just went through with that Nadira person:

[2010/07/31 23:22]

Luke Heartsdale smiles and purrs

Luke Heartsdale: wonders where to go now lol

Dakota Bookmite: LOL I know...

Luke Heartsdale: well, think some place more open with no doors would be nice now lol

Dakota Bookmite: LOLOL!! you are too funny

Luke Heartsdale: have to be after a rather tacky metagamed RP we just went through, by a faction leader no less <.<

Dakota Bookmite: I know. I just let it roll off of my shoulders. There is always one bitch or two in every rp sim.

Luke Heartsdale: yeah

Luke Heartsdale: hmm, think I know, that one palace thingie would be nice. now to remember where it's at...

After finally finding the place we were looking for:

Dakota Bookmite cuddles close to you.

Luke Heartsdale slumps back upon the much more comfortable pillows in the open spaced setting, then kicks off his boots. He purrs as you cuddle close and nuzzles your forehead.

Dakota Bookmite's body relaxes from the nuzzle. She hears the soft thump of your boots and realizes that you have taken them off. She slips her shoes off too.

Luke Heartsdale smiles then kisses your forehead, arm coming around to massage your back gently.

Dakota Bookmite begins to purr when she feels the soft kiss on her forehead and the gentle massage.

Luke Heartsdale: almost thought of joining that group even. But wow, think after that experience, kinda hard for me to see an IC reason to now lol

Dakota Bookmite: Yeah me too. I have dealt with irritating leaders before, that won't be for me if I decide to continue to rp there. Their loss lol.

Fed Ex Union Buster Commercials

Ok, normally I'm not this political on this blog, but I felt a need to rant on this one.

I really, really hope people aren't buying into Fed Ex's commercials on You Tube that talk poorly on labor unions, particularly Teamsters. Why? Because they don't support unions, and UPS does. And apparently, they think that's a good way to take a pot shot an try to wound two birds with one stone.

Here's the thing though, if Fed Ex is really stealing UPS's business at the rate they think they are, then why would they be so scared of both UPS and Teamsters? Are they saying they can't compete without non-union labor? What they are really saying is - because they don't want to support organized labor, hate the idea of their workers having the security of a union backing them, they are going to raise prices, and blame it on the unions. But not just that, they have to put up conspiracy theory nonsense that UPS is responsible for the bill regarding labor unions.

But think for a moment. They are mad because UPS has supported Teamsters for decades? Does Fed Ex forget that one of the reasons Wal-Mart has been boycotted is for not supporting unions? Grow up Fed Ex. You want to be competitive in a major market, but don't want to support your workers in organizing and having their rights as workers protected and secure? Apparently you're not up to the task. You may have fast planes, but what about your pilots? Do you care about their well being and ability to have rights to organize and make sure they are treated fairly? UPS has air and ground. Is a world wide company, and, apparently you, Fed Ex, are fed up with the ideal that it's not enough to have fast planes, but also good pilots and drivers that feel secure that both their company and their union is there to make sure they get a fair deal for the work they do.

No, Fed Ex, you are not fooling me with that nonsense on You Tube. If anything, it shows you're running scared of change, change that would make you accountable to both your fast planes and your workers. What a terrible change that would be, eh?

I Write Like...

So, I was putting up some of my writing, to this website called I Write Like (http://iwl.me/), and it said that I write like the following authors/editors:

Raymond Chandler

Harry Harrison

Stephen King

William Gibson

Cory Doctorow

David Foster Wallace

Dan Brown

Mark Twain

James Joyce

Margaret Atwood

Ursula K. Le Guin

Arthur Conan Doyle

Of those, the most common to show up from the various selections of writings I submitted to be analyzed are:

Harry Harrison

Cory Doctorow

David Foster Wallace

Dan Brown

Mark Twain

Of those, Harry Harrison, David Foster Wallace, and Mark Twain are the top, and particularly my favorites of those supposedly similar in writing style to me.

What does all that mean? Not a whole hell lot, save probably that, pick and choose the writers I want to be most associated with, I could use them to describe what my writing style is similar to, and better consider the range of my audience. Some of the authors are mainstream, so I can say that I have that sort of appeal, and a slant toward the liberal. Granted, majority of writers do slant that way, so big whoop there.

Anyways, thought it was interesting...

Mass Reflections - Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday

Resurrection of the Lord

The Mass of Easter Day

The readings for the Mass can be found here.

Related Flickr theme here.

The father of the parish I go to told the same homily this morning as he did last night at the Easter Vigil. He spoke on the the two apostles, to which the scriptures for Mass had related as follows:

So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.

They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter

and arrived at the tomb first;

he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in.

When Simon Peter arrived after him,

he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there,

and the cloth that had covered his head,

not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place.

Then the other disciple also went in,

the one who had arrived at the tomb first,

and he saw and believed.

For they did not yet understand the Scripture

that he had to rise from the dead.

The scriptures noted that the other disciple is known as the one whom Jesus loved. Some speculate that St. John, or, as others believe, the deciples of St. John, who are believed to have written the Gospel of John, was/were referencing St. John himself as this beloved one. In Christian Tradition, to which even the Gospels testify to, it is believed that St. John had a prominent position in the Apostolic body. Saint Peter, St James and St John were the only witnesses of the raising of Jairus' daughter [Mk. 5:37], of the Transfiguration [Mt. 17:1], and of the Agony in Gethsemane [Mt 26:37]. Only St. John and St. Peter were sent into the city to make the preparation for the final Passover meal to which Christ sets anew as the Last Supper [Lk 22:8]. At the meal itself, St. John's place was next to Jesus on whose chest he leaned [Jn 13:23-25]. According to the general interpretation, John was also that "other disciple" who with St. Peter followed Jesus after the arrest into the palace of the high-priest [Jn. 18:15]. St. John alone remained near Jesus at the foot of the cross on Calvary with Jesus’ mother, Mary, and the pious women and took Mary into his care as the last legacy of Jesus. Needless to say, and with all the talk either hyped by St. John's disciples, or by St. John himself to testify to his place next to Christ as the beloved disciple, it wouldn't be surprising that he found others jealous of him, and maybe ever, for lack of a better and less profane word, cocky, boastful, and maybe even a show off. In some ways, and considering the critique of a certain *ahem* 'father' of sorts who resides in a certain RP city that shall remain nameless, I can relate to this 'beloved disciples' in that certain nature it seems. <.<

However, what this real father from a real life parish mentioned about the scriptures pertains more to St. Peter. Yes, this disciple that was beloved did indeed beat St. Peter to the tomb of Jesus. But, it wast St. Peter that went into the tomb first, and the beloved disciple that followed him in. You see, under Jewish traditions, to go into a tomb made one unclean, and one would have to seek a priest to gain attonement in order to enter the temple again. So, the beloved disciple was still holding to the prudence of the Jewish traditions, while St. Peter, to whom the father claimed in his sermon that this was a brash move done by St. Peter, to which follows his nature throughout the Gospels. For he often did leap forward before the others, and at times, St. Peter found himself treading water and putting his foot in his mouth due to his assertiveness. Suppose, in some ways, that's a testament to leadership in general, that those who set out first in something, they are not perfect, and they do make mistakes, but yet, they pave the way for others to follow. And so, this is what is testified in the Gospel. Yes, the beloved one made it to the cave that held Jesus dead first, but it was St. Peter who enters first, to see for himself that Jesus has risen. The beloved one follows behind St. Peter, and he too believes. Neither of them had yet to understand the scripture that stated that Chirst had to rise from the dead, but none the less, they came to the tomb, St. Peter entering first, then the beloved, and they both came to believe.

Regardless of any arguments any Christians may have upon the Scriptures and the perspectives each have about these events, the most important aspect is the belief, the faith that was shown. To be a Christian, to be of Christ, believe that our Lord has risen is at the very essence of our faith. Though the Epistle for today helps put the Creed in perspective, I go back to last night's reading from St. Paul to the Romans to press the importance of the Resurrection as such:

Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus

were baptized into his death?

We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death,

so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead

by the glory of the Father,

we too might live in newness of life.

Without Christ's resurrection, our baptism into him would render nothing. Yes, we die with him, but we also live in him. As He dies, we die as well. And, as our Lord live, so do we live in Him. This is not herecy, this is what is written in Scripture, and also what out Traditions testify to, unto which the Creed itself, Christians in universal chorus testify that:

He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.

He descended into dead. On the third day he rose again.

He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again to judge the living and the dead.

We believe Christ has died, and we believe Christ is risen. Χριστὸς ἀνέστη.

Reflections After Mass

Theme Song: Above all by Lenny LeBlanc

March 28, 2010 - Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

See the following link for Mass Readings.

The reading of Isaiah reminds me that, no matter how good one may be at speaking or communicating in some fashion, no matter how well one can listen, and even if one is obedient it does not mean that things in life will not try to tear a person down. No, these things will happen to a person no matter how good they try to be. So, it's a matter of how one reacts to the difficulties that makes the difference. You can either drown in the sorrows, and let the troubles over take you, or you can fight them, tread water and put hope in God, as well as not let the things that bring you problems get to you. It's easier said than done.

But what interested me was the enactment of the Gospel from Luke, to which my Parish did the alternative reading. The Psalm and reading of St. Paul's letter to the Philippians mainly segues into the Gospel. And what is important to me about the Gospel is that it indeed shows the battle of ideas and principalities, and what happens when the conflict manifests into the physical world. The charges made against Jesus are that he is misleading the people, won't pay taxes to Caesar, and is claiming to be the king of the Jews. What it boils down to is that they don't like what Jesus is teaching. The masses prefer a murderer over Jesus, even those closest to him deny him. He is mocked and sent to be executed by crucifixion. And yet, among his dying words are, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."

Forgiveness is hard. Most of the world is unforgiving. And living in the world, it is no wonder why it can be so easy to be tempted, or flat out just not be able to forgive. But still, Jesus does so even unto death.

I look back on the past few months, and yeah, I have to admit not being able to forgive easily. I have felt betrayed by people I considered friends. Mocked and hated by these same so-called friends. I have been exiled from a few places I once called home in SL. And I have had even family members in real life reject me, though the last one is from nearly 2 years ago, and that is one of the greatest betrayals I have had to deal with in my life. I won't go into detail, but, yep, it didn't help me in being able to forgive. And yet, when I think about it, those who have hurt me, and even hindered my life in ways that have made it difficult to move forward, a part of me knows, that they don't know what they are doing. Or if they do, they have done so in blindness of heart and mind.

In a way, it's like in the movie Avatar. The humans, they don't understand the Na'vi. They fear them, look at them as a nuisance, as savages. The humans reason it as a matter of security and survival, even though it is they that some to the land and are devouring it of its nature. Killing its Mother, as was done on Earth in killing their own Mother. But they know not what they do, and are distracted from the bigger picture. Unobtanium, while of material value, is hardly worth anything compared to the value of Pandora itself as a whole. This is true of Earth as well. It may not be some biological network in the same way as Pandora, but the world we live in in real life is filled with energy that we borrow. We live on alloted time, we can exert our energy given as we please because of free will. But, we don't often know what to do with what is given to us.

Jesus, then, is an oddity to us, because, if one is Christian, then what we are to believe is that Jesus, as the Son of God was, from the beginning, and ever shall be, God. In that, no matter what area in development he was in the formation of his carnal body, he always was, and always knew who he was. This is not so for the majority, if not all of humanity. We are taught philosophically that we are always developing and becoming, not that we are at the fullness of who we really are. We have to search and seek out such things that we think will improve us, and bring us closer to being whole. And yet, Jesus was, is, and shall always be whole regardless of his physical stages of development.

And so, humanity, when it interacts with something different in nature than itself often reacts out of fear. Consider, the reason it can be so difficult to forgive can be due to fear. Sure, it may be because someone angered you. But yet, anger comes for many reasons, often because of disappointments or frustrations. And there are feelings of hurt involved. So thus, fear of being hurt again drives the wedge needed to make forgiving undesirable. But yet, Jesus can forgive - and he can do so without fear, even under the pains of death.

So, when I think of what has happened to me, as related above, a part of me just has to say, "So what if they harmed me?" I sought out to take on the imitation of Christ, and, with getting reviled for doing so, how can I complain when I find similar suffering, but yet not to the point of death that Christ went through. It hurts, but still, I must forgive. For those who did what they did to me know not what they do. They may not be sorry, and are unforgiving themselves, but that doesn't mean I can't forgive.

Confidence

Seems to be the theme today, or at least one of the main themes of my life that transpired today. I felt it hit after taking a test that I knew I could score higher on if I just put more aggression into answering the questions quicker and with more confidence that I know the right answers. Got it after while talking to my job counselor who said today was the most she had heard me speak in meetings with her. Even more so got it after going to a mock interview and receiving critique back that one of the things I needed to work on was confidence and being more aggressive in selling myself in an interview. And then walks in my Dad just a moment ago to check on me, who gives me his usual mixed message regarding having more confidence because irl, I really don't have many strikes against me. But, then, he does his usual rub about how people with worse records are able to get jobs, left and right apparently, and I'm still treading water in the job market. Yeah, that's a big confidence boost right there. <.<

So yeah, I need to work on confidence. How? I figured I've been on the right track lately, now, with trying to work through the employment service. I've not always asked for help, least not right away, and maybe not with the confidence necessary. But I'm trying to ask more and seek help more. Not that I have any choice, since relying on myself alone is getting me nowhere. You can be a nice guy, but you know, nice guys don't finish first too often. It's a harder road to take. Because, it seems, the more you can push people around, or otherwise force yourself into something, the more likely you will be to actually be continuing to do it. And people seem to prefer pushing more than guiding. It's strange thing, but, it plays out everywhere, even on SL.

SL pushy? Some of you may ask. Hell yes it is. It can be very demanding on people, to even a ridiculous level, considering that, if you don't pull yourself away from SL, there's no way one can keep their virtual life without their real life diminishing. And when it feels like the demands of this virtual life are becoming more than that of an already demanding real life, that's when the stress takes its toll on the citizens of the metaverse. Because, despite being able to teleport into numerous places in seconds, and with the use of alts be able to literally be two (or more) places at once, despite all these god-like feeling abilities of SL, we're still human afterall, and multitasking virtual lives on top of real life can and does become challenging at times, even so daunting that there's no way to keep up with the demands.

What to do then? Well, the easy way out is to just pull the plug on SL. But that's not the best way. However, sometimes it becomes necessary, especially when people in the virtual world are so caught up on trying to take your time and steal it for themselves. Why? Because some people are just that greedy. They either forget or just don't care that there's someone in another part of the world that is interacting with them and has a real life that they have to participate in to, especially in order to maintain a virtual world in the first place. And then, there's also the feeling that, if you don't keep active and are unable to attend to the demands of everyone, or, in particular, the ones you care about, then soon, those people are just going to decide to abandon you because you're busy and they aren't going to wait for you to return or have time to do things with them. People in SL rarely have much patience, which is sad, really. And it's also the reason that this virtual world becomes demanding, because impatient and greedy people that want to take up your time are going to do just that, if you let them.

And why do we let people online do that? Usually because there is an invested interest or desire, generally mutual between those that demand something and those that are being demanded of something. And, in some ways, it's not really a bad thing. The thing that makes it so generally has to do with priorities. And when priorities get screwed up, that's when demands become a bad thing. If there's anything that is hard for me to tolerate in SL, it is when priorities are not set and put in sync between the demand or desire of something and where they lay among the people involved. When I feel I have wasted time waiting on someone to which has risen in priority for me for various reasons, but generally because I've grown to care for them, and that desire seems not to be in sync, then yes, I do get frustrated. When I come on, and start to speak with someone in that priority, and see have them pass up time to do something with me, of course I feel rejected. Why? Because of the invested interest and priority. If I didn't have that, I probably would be more apt to say, "Oh well, on to do something else." But, when there is a sense of priority and invested interest involved, and the person goes and does something else, it turns into, "Ok... I just logged in for nothing, thanks! >.<"

So, there's two options that come to mind then:

1. Give up on the invested interest.
2. Work things out.

For the first, let's face it, not every invested interest in SL is going to be worth keeping. Especially when the interest isn't equal or mutual between those that have the investment. Once invested interest drops due to unequal priorities, it's about then that those interests go out the door. Why? Because, quite frankly, it's a waste of time if only one person in the invested interest is trying to prioritize and make things work. So, if things can't be worked out, then it's better to pull out while the chips are high, rather than push and wind up forced out at the lowest point. Getting out while you're still ahead (or still have a head) can seem the best thing to do.

On the other hand, if those that have the invested interest together, and want to keep it together, then it would be better to work things out. Because if there is desire to keep things going, then there may be hope that those in the invested interest can figure out a way to work together.

Anyways, how that figures in with confidence? *shrugs* I suppose with confidence, clarity and resolve to do what's best becomes more clear and easy to do than without it.

Stray Child

I suppose it's hard to consider why this song was picked, let alone the title. The song itself doesn't seem very uplifting, and can feel rather melancholy. But, the title and song convey a few things, on first the general feeling of straying, or having strayed. The title, well, it's about yearning to find one's way, to no longer wander alone.

It is easy to get lost in one's own way. Sometimes we dive into things so deep, that we forget that we are indeed in an awesome story, the story of life. And it's easy to be in doubt and stray. And when a person feels like it's them against the world, one may cling to that lonesome folly. And clung to it, one may find themselves too close to the pain to have an adequate ability to perceive things.

But, even going through the pain, one may come though it and be taken back to proper ways. Though it may, in the moment, seem difficult to find, it really is easy. But it might take remembrance of the path to unfold through someone.

Now, a person may lose their way and feel too deep in that awesome story. But, they can also be found again, despite that lonesome folly.

For some time, I have felt stray in my wanderings. But I have felt like there's an awesome story out there to tell. Maybe I have even told a few before, but felt so defeated in the process, and then a sense of being ostracized, losing what I felt was family, to which, on one hand, some of them were, on the other, they were people that claimed to be, or at least friends. I felt like I had an awesome story to tell, and maybe I did. But, it got lost somewhere along the way.